I’m still in limbo with how the hell I’m going to acquire reliable transportation. Still stressed out, and still getting bummed on the fact that I’m having to ask people to help me out. However, I’m grateful for those people who are willing to help - rides to work, rides to the car dealerships, etc. etc. It’s difficult to have to ask for help (my pride tends to get in the way) but I’m thankful to have people in my life who I can ask.
I did a new thing yesterday; for the first time in my life, I walked into a car dealership to talk with a salesman and apply for a car loan. I went in assuming two things: 1-my credit was shitawful and 2-I would have to hustle/connive/wheel&deal in order to not get screwed. After talking with the sales rep, I learned that not only could they work with someone with my admittedly poor credit AND the terms wouldn’t be nearly as terrible as I was expecting, but also their dealers don’t work off commission…so rather than have to negotiate with someone who was trying to upsell me to the highest sticker price, I could be working with someone who’s trying to get me the best possible price. So today, I am grateful for a stress-free experience. I don’t have a car just yet, but it looks promising. And I am exceedingly thankful for that.
For me, the most ironic token of that moment in history is the plaque signed by President Richard M. Nixon that Apollo 11 took to the Moon. It reads: ‘We came in peace for all mankind.’ As the United States was dropping 7.5 megatons of conventional explosives on small nations in Southeast Asia, we congratulated ourselves on our humanity: We would harm no one on a lifeless rock.
Carl Sagan (via gordonramsayislord)
Today is tough. I’m sitting on the side of the road in a broken down car - which was loaned to me by the garage which is in the process of repairing MY broken down car, which may be too broken down to be worth repairing - late for work, stuck in the cold, waiting for someone from the garage to get here. I’m dirt poor until payday. I have no idea how I’m going to get a vehicle, which I need for my job, and approaching the limit of how much stress I can handle without breaking. It is difficult to think of something I’m grateful for. So, I’ll say I’m grateful for the NH state trooper who pulled over to check on me to see if I was alright. Grateful for the driver from the garage who gave me a ride to my workplace - I may be without transportation right now, but at least I’m not stranded in the cold. And today that’s enough.
Music being “good or bad” is a flawed idea. Artists make what they want to make and we either connect with it or we don’t. Just because we relate to some songs more than others doesn’t make the others less valid, we just don’t understand them. In fact, we aren’t meant to, and that’s all right.
Jacob Bannon (via skibashapiro)
My overly critical, pretentious music snob self could do well to remember this.
It was a week later than I was hoping, but Lauren and I managed to put up our Christmas tree last night. Listened to A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack on vinyl, hung up some extra decorations in the doorways, even laid a train track around the tree. I remember for the last several years - probably since I hit my 20’s - where Christmas season was just a huge bummer for me. I refused to participate for at least half a decade, and could best be described as a grinch. Maybe it’s the change of setting, the new city, the having a place of my own. Maybe it’s having a partner to celebrate the holidays with. Whatever the reason, I’m much closer to “the Christmas spirit” these days. I’m thankful for that. Thankful that my brain has decided to calm down and not bludgeon me with sad and lonesome and nothing else.
As I’m writing this, I’m getting ready for my weekly routine of coffee and poem workshopping with my partner and a good friend. We started this ritual a couple months ago, and already I’ve gotten incredibly useful feedback on multiple poems that are now better than they used to be. I’m grateful today for the opportunity to be a part of a writing community that actively fosters an environment of growth. I’m grateful for a peer community that makes me a better writer, and a better person as well.
My mom turns 60 years old today. Every thing that I am today is rooted in how this amazing woman raised me. Today, I’m grateful for being the son of Michelle Miller, known to everyone she meets as Mickie, and to every one of my friends as Mom (she insists on it) - this is a woman who is so filled with goodness that she would show up at the Westboro Baptist Church with a home cooked meal just to ‘kill em with kindness” and I am a MUCH better man than I would have ended up being if it wasn’t for her.
If we have to get a warrant, we’re going to come back when you’re not expecting it, we’re going to park in front of your house, where all your neighbors can see, we’re gonna bust in your door with a battering ram, we’re gonna shoot and kill your dogs, who are my family, and then we’re going to ransack your house looking for these people.
I feel nothing but intense hatred.(via schrodingersdelaypedal)